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We do, however, sometimes need a bracing punch in the face about what, exactly, we want so badly when we go trolling for partners in smoky bars, at singles soccer league, online.
Don’t worry, Kipnis’ very entertaining look at all our dumb societal ideas about love will hardly turn you celibate, or even unromantic.
If you need a friend that understands, a boss that forces you to venture deep in your non-comfort zone, a wise guru that tells you what needs to be left behind and a sage that proclaims the coming of a new age, then look no further; you will find these shrewd voices all tied together in this magnificent book. Perhaps it is the fact that randomness played such a significant role in my years as a poker player that I find this book utterly important.
We often attribute skill where there is only luck; we confuse correlation with causation and we underestimate the incredible effect small changes can have.
Set aside your annoyance with author Elizabeth Gilbert’s breakthrough, .
(It’s not her fault the movie made it worse.) Here she merges the confessional memoir style that made her famous with the journalism that she practiced for years before that in an examination of what makes marriage marriage.
It’ll simply send you into the dating battle clear-eyed and (a little) more rational.
As a bonus, it’ll give you loads of intellectual conversation material.
We know they’re silly, full of crap, and oftentimes detrimental (hi, one will tell me the ultimate secret to love and everlasting happiness. But as a longtime lover/hater of such books, I’ve become a bit of a connoisseur.
Feminist values, they point out, do not preclude reacting with temperance and emotional independence to an initial attraction (on the part of a woman).
They also cite that discipline and consideration inform the actions which create egalitarian relationships. In 2001 the follow-up book The Rules for Marriage: Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work was released in the midst of Fein's legal separation from her husband to whom she had been married for sixteen years.
(Notable that Carnegie never felt compelled to write .) Be forewarned, though: that Carnegie, who rose to fame by helping the down-and-out during the Great Depression, was writing in pre-Oprah Supersoul Sunday-era is readily apparent.
(Referring to his formerly nervous wreck of a self, the author writes he was "one of the most unhappy lads" in New York City).